


The Penguins in New Zealand

by UriPara



Category: All Hail King Julien, Madagascar (Movies), Penguins of Madagascar
Genre: Adventure, Comedy, Explore, Funny, Gen, Human AU, New Zealand, Short, Spy - Freeform, Travel, madagascar, world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29017902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UriPara/pseuds/UriPara
Summary: The notorious Penguin gang has a heist set up for New Zealand, but their not so elaborate plan has a feathery problem.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	The Penguins in New Zealand

The Penguins in New Zealand.  
E for everyone.   
Adventure, funny, comedy, travel, explore, spy, human au, heist, the world,

\---

“Gentlemen,” Skipper announced proudly as he revealed the newest heist plan, “I have fantastic news about our next mission.” His smile curled the side of his face as he adjusted the lapels on his suit, “We are going,” he paused for dramatic effect, “to sunny Australia!” He pulled down a map of New Zealand and the rest of the Penguin gang clapped. 

Except Kowalski who cocked his head and stated as he adjusted the map to be straight, “That's New Zealand sir.” He was the tallest in the group and stood beside the boss in their makeshift base on the island nation of Madagascar. 

Skipper turned, “So it is. No longer Old Zealand, huh?” He scratched his chin at the map of the country just off the coast of Australia. 

Private, the smallest of the gang, raised his hand chipperly, “What are we going to do there, Skipper?!” 

The leader snapped forward and pointed at him, “Excellent question!” He revealed another poster with a large photo of a kiwi bird on the front. “We will be stealing their priceless jade statue.” However, the statue’s rotund feathered frame and large beak did not make it look like a statue. In fact it appeared to be a nature photo. 

Rico, the stocky muscle of the group squinted at the picture of the bird, “Kiwi?” He said gravely as he rubbed his eyes to be sure he was seeing things right. 

Skipper turned to the scientist, “Kowalski, take it away.” 

Kowalski nodded, produced a pointed staff, and slapped it against the board, “This statue was made by a famous Maori artist: Cecil “Kukupa”, no less than seven days ago,” he pulled out another poster, this time of the actual statue carved to look like the exotic bird. “The nephrite weights approximately 445 kilograms- er 980 pounds, and is set to be on display at the-” 

Private sat up, “Woah!” The statue poster displayed its bright green features with flakes of brown and black. The jade statue was built on a carved base of red and black wood, the bird’s feet planted directly in the middle. It was a beautiful example of cultural heritage and artisanal skill. 

Skipper shouted, “Exactly! This hunk of rock is going to be a display piece for the partnership between Australia-”

“New Zealand,” Kowalski coughed. 

“Right, for the New Zealand government and the indigenous people who just want them off their land.” 

Kowalski continued with his presentation, “The piece is named: kākāriki kiwi whiti-” 

Skipper jumped in, “And it's worth millions!” He smiled and ran his hands down his face. 

Rico clapped, “Boom boom!” 

Kowalski tried to continue,“Now the pounamu, the rock it self, is quite durable and will require some extra force to-” 

Rico stood tall and produced TNT, “BOOM BOOM!”

Skipper turned, “With the money we could make stealing that bird we could buy a new chopper and get back to New York.” 

The gang cheered but the scientist fumbled with his words, “Gentlemen the statue is very delicate we can’t just-”

Slipper slapped his back, “Let’s pack up boys!” 

\---

A newscaster was reporting outside the site for the carving, “No word yet on if the infamous New York based “Penguin” capers will appear on the scene after receiving an anonymous tip. The New Zealand government has made no comment on the matter, but police are at the ready.” The screen showed pictures of a white and yellow police vehicles, and then the suited gang from a past heist. 

Skipper scoffed at the small television display, “What an old photo, we should send a new one in.”

Several thousands of miles away, the Penguins were resting in the back of a cargo plane, effectively stowaways. Rico puffed on a cigar, dueling out cards between him and Skipper. Kowalski was tapping on rocks and making notes in his journal, while Private was organizing their parachute backpacks. 

The smallest gang member sat up, “Skipper, are we really going to blow the statue up? Can't we just steal the whole thing?” 

The lead Penguin flipped a card down and Rico groaned, losing the round. Kowalski replied instead, “We need to disassemble it for transport, it is several pieces in one, just held together.” 

“Oh,” the small Penguin replied wide eyed.

Skipper added in, “That kooky king in Madagascar wants it for his collection. Said something about the light hitting it perfectly to resemble a dance something-something.” He laid another card down.

The explosives expert grinned, “Julian pay good.” He had a dark twinkle in his eye. 

Skipper nodded and looked at the cards, “If he doesn't, the rock is still worth a pretty penny, or whatever currency they have in-” he tried to remember, “New Zealand.” 

“They have the New Zealand dollar sir.” Kowalski replied. Rico placed a card down and Skipper gasped, losing the round. Kowalski continued, “Once we land in Auckland we will make our way North toward Mount Eden.” 

Private stretched, “Might as well get some shut eye.” 

Skipper stood from the table, no longer interested in the game since he was losing, “Here-here, let's all get some rest.” 

—-

Kowalski fell out of his hammak as the plane hit turbulence. He sat up and cursed at Newton before stumbling over to get some water. The interior of the plane bounced around random cords and fright boxes, but his flask of water was still upright. 

As the demolition expert was polishing a knife the scientist sat beside him on the table they had made from an industrial wire spool, “Couldn’t sleep either?”

A Penguin of few words, Rico shook his head, “Nuh-uh.” 

Kowalski sighed, the cargo bay smelled like hay and wet metal. Long flights hurt his joints, and he was too tall for the hammock anyway. He laid his head against the table as the plane shook again. Private and Skipper were sound asleep, mostly thanks to their eye masks and ear plugs. 

The scientist sighed, “I just want to sleep.” 

Rico’s hoarse voice whispered next to his head, “Kowalski.” He felt the other’s hand graze his temple and he relaxed a bit. Just one last mission. 

He woke up a bit later when Skipper appeared in front of him with a parachute bag. Kowalski squinted at him, “Sir?” 

“Strap in boys! It’s time to fly!” He adjusted his goggles and straps before passing the bag off. 

Rico pulled a leaver and pushed a button from a clearly hacked panel that made the rear door open. Kowalski panicked and quickly donned the parachute gear. The whole area rumbled and filled with wind, cords flapped about and the suction from the door stripped away their table, cards, and hammocks out into the sky. 

Private had his on backwards, but stepped first in line without anyone telling him. The smallest member shouted, “Jeronimo!” before disappearing into the clouds. 

Rico hopped up and down before jumping off with a flourish. 

Skipper pushed the scientist, “Off we go!”

Kowalski screamed as they all fell in formation through the clouds.

\----

The announcer gripped the podium in anticipation, “Please welcome, Cecil Kukupa!” 

The artist walked onto the stage and the crowd cheered. She was an elderly lady, with a long black ponytail and wearing a moari-style shawl. She adjusted her glasses and smiled, “I’m so proud to be unveiling my piece here today as-'' a large industrial sized spool table fell from the sky and collapsed the platform with her on it. There was a collective gasp of disbelief as a large dust cloud filtered past the stage. 

Several other people were injured and shouts could be heard, “My leg!” “Why!?” “Jason?!”

—

Meanwhile in the woods, just a little ways off, Skipper was crying hysterically, “Why! why didn’t you tell me Kowalski?!”

“Tell you what sir?” He held his arms.

“Figi!” He sniffled, “We are so close to Figi!” 

Private piped up after getting his parachute off in reverse, “Mount Fuji?”

Rico dusted himself off and adjusted his purposefully torn suit, “Japan?”

Kowalski pinched the brim of his nose, “Okay, again, we are in New Zealand. Fiji is in Melanesia.”

Skipper wiped his face and produced a photo of a stereotypical hulu clad woman, “It reminds me of her…”

The Penguins heard the commotion coming from the ceremony and quickly ran through the trees to see the safety crew taking away the artist and several people from the podium. There were sobs and news reports about the ceremony being ruined by a freak accident. 

Skipper beamed, “Good we didn’t land too far off!”

An additional announcer climbed atop the wrecked stage, “Well since the ceremony has been...well anywho.” They hit a button and a large cloth was removed from an innocuous shape, revealing the statue that was unharmed. “The piece will be on display at Witherford Reserve after tonight.” 

The press left the injured people, and clammored over them to take shots of the statue in the light. It was round and magnificent, just like the poster had promised. The statue was placed on the bed of a large truck, upright despite the foreseeable wind shear problems it would pose. 

Skipper grinned, “Now’s our chance boys.” 

Ambulances were still on the scene as their crews also took time to admire the polished statue. Rico cracked his knuckles and snatched the driver of the large truck, putting him into a choke hold before they hijacked his clothes and vehicle. 

Skipper had taken the driver’s hat and got behind the wheel, “Now let's get this hunk of rock to the meeting point.” He started the engine and the truck’s exhaust choked the crowd as it pulled away. Rico and Private covered the statue in the tarp again from the back of the flatbed, while harnessed to the cable system that kept it in place. 

Instead of Witherford Reserve, they headed to the Maungatautari Mountain range, to dismantle the statue and transfer it to shipping crates. 

\---

It was dusk now and Skipper leaned against the truck’s muddy tire, “We got your rock ready Julian,” he calmly stated over the phone as Rico and Kowalski carefully separated the beak and wings from the base. 

The un-enigmatic king replied, “Oh fantastic! It will glitter and sparkle like all radiance upon my new home with- Maurice! Change my guest list! The bird thing I want will be delivered soon! Like a disco ball-but green and with carved feathers-and with more stolen cultural significance- it will illuminate this fine occasion!” 

Skipper gasped softly at discovering that his suit had been muddied from the vehicle, he tried to remain composed, “Now then, our payment?” He quickly wiped it away. 

Rico took a blow torch and the other Penguins separated the wooden base before packing the heavy components into the crates in the dark woods. 

“Payment of course! It will be transferred immediately!” 

Skipper nodded and marked on some boxes a large red X for Madagascar, the ones without the X were to be sold separately for their own gain in New York. The feet of the bird were to be taken to New York and crushed for the rock. “A pleasure doing business with you.” 

Private heaved a box upright and was handed a foot feather to wrap inside. He swallowed as he heard stirring in the woods but tried to ignore it as he loaded the box. Soon the box stirred as well and shadows appeared to dart about in the dark. He closed the lid and sealed it, “This one is ready!” he exclaimed with shaken nerves. 

The Penguins loaded the boxes onto the truck and headed to the airport. 

\---

A small cargo plane was at the ready as they loaded the red boxes, while a jet was set for them for New York. They had separate contacts for a New York syndicate they partnered with at times called “Zoo” who helped charter their return. 

Kowalski wiped his forehead as he took off his vest and coat after loading the last box, “Is Alex going to pay as much as Julian?”

Rico and Private sighed, sitting next to the jet as their unmarked boxes were finally loaded. 

“You bet he is!” Skipper happily snapped back, “Something about making jewelry and whatnot.” His suit was still pristine as he hadn’t done any labor. The cargo plane took off after Skipper confirmed Julian’s payment, but soon they heard sirens wailing in the distance. 

Rico stood, “Not good.”

Skipper put his hands on his hips, “Time to go!”

They all clamored into the plane, Rico and Kowalski quickly reaching the cockpit. 

Private looked through the window, “I think they know!” Police and armed guards came from down the line as the plane’s engines roared to life. 

Skipper held a large box close to him, “Well they aren’t getting it back! Let's go!”

Kowalski hit a few buttons and adjusted the dials, “Hold on to something.” The plane turned to use the main runway but it was blocked by vehicles. 

Skipper glared out the window, “They must have been tipped off!”

Rico pointed to another runway for smaller planes, “There.” Kowaslki turned to redirect their path as the engines grew louder. 

“It's going to be a little steep!” 

Men in uniform dashed and ducked as the plane corrected its path and broke through a fence headed to a small thin runway. The wing’s clipped a truck and the tires squealed as the jet began to barrel down the new course. 

They were all pushed back in their respective seats as the jet took off from the airport and banked right to miss the towers. 

“To New York sir?” Kowalski shouted as they gained altitude. 

“No, that's what they’re expecting.” 

Rico turned, “They?”

\---

Meanwhile, the cargo plane reached the dense jungles of Madagascar that morning, and Julian jumped for joy as the statue was assembled and hung from the rafters of his mansion’s disco floor. 

“Look at it Maurice! So gentle, so lovely. This fruit bird can fly!” The statue spun slowly, light glittering through its form and trickling down below. The Penguins had cut the feet off so it looked like a large sphere with a pointed bill. 

Maurice nodded, “Yes your majesty, it's very lovely.” Maurice and Mort signed some paperwork and handed the crew cash as they took away ladders and hanging tools. 

The flamboyant king spun in a circle, “When are my guests scheduled to arrive?” 

“Tomorrow at 6pm your majesty.” 

“Fantastic.” He then turned and ran up the winding stairs of the main parlor to see Sonya, a large bear of a woman. “Honey! Come see my new decoration! It's the focal point of our anniversary tonight!” he paused, “Well our anniversary is the focal point, but you know what I mean.” 

The woman stood and smiled at him before gripping him tightly and running down with him. At the bottom of the stairs they heard Maurice shouting, “What do you mean seeking clearance?!” 

Another voice replied through an intercom, “Sir, they didn’t seek clearance. They just landed.”

“They’re here!?”

“Who is here?” Julian walked over as Sonya ran to see the new display. 

The front door busted open as Skipper strolled in, “Well, well, well, so you figured out my con huh?”

Sonya exclaimed from the disco floor, “Wow!” and they heard clapping. 

Julian was hiding behind Maurice after the door had flown open but yelled back, “I know right! It catches the light perfectly!” 

Rico and Private dragged in some knocked out guards as Skipper continued with ire, “We tried to scam you and you called the Australi- NZ fuzz on us!”

Julian moved into view again, “You tried to scam me?” He blinked and stood in front of Skipper, “Me?” The audacity. 

Skipper pointed at him, “Don’t play dumb.”

Maurice added, “He’s not playing.” 

Kowalski walked in with a large laptop, “The authorities received an anonymous tip after your cargo plane left. They were told ours had a missing kiwi.”

Skipper stepped closer to Julian, “Now ain’t that a coincidence.” 

“It certainly is! I didn’t call anyone! I have my statue.” Julian crossed his arms, “And what's with the matter of the scamming of me?” 

His wife came in from the hall, in a thick accent she stated “Isn’t it supposed to have feet?” 

Julian gasped, “The feets! You stole the feets!”   
Skipper groaned, “You wouldn't have noticed!”

“Well I am of the noticing just now! You can not be scamming me!” He stamped his foot. 

Skipper shrugged, “You wouldn’t have liked it with it anyway.”

“That is for me to decide!” 

“Fine! Rico!” The large man then dipped out from the building but soon returned with the box, “Here, see for yourself.”

Kowalski pried open the box with a crowbar before tipping it over, packing peanuts and paper came tumbling forward. The large green bird foot rolled out, but Private shrieked as a brown ball stepped out of the crate as well. 

They all took a step back as a flightless kiwi bird bobbed its head and squinted in the morning light.

Julian leaned down, “What is that thing?” Filled with both mild curiosity and delight. 

Kowalski replied, “It's a kiwi bird!”

Maurice couldn’t hide his disbelief, “You literally just bought a statue of one.” 

“My disco display?”

The wild animal had a large blinking band on its foot as it slowly stepped around the peanuts and pecked at the floor. 

Kowalski picked up his laptop, “Oh thats what the report must have meant.” 

Skipper scoffed, “Great, we got the force on our tail cause we had a stow away.” 

Maurice sounded icey, “And you’ve probably brought them here.” 

Julian cooed at the brown bird and it stepped toward him, “Look how it moves! I do hate its little feets! Oh! I want to put it with my other animals!”

Skipper clapped his hands, “See? It was a gentle con. No harm done, sorry for breaking your door and knocking out your security.” The Penguin gang slowly stepped backward to leave. “We will be on our way now.” 

Private bowed, “Enjoy your anniversary.” Sonya bowed back and smiled. 

“Freeze!” The four agents of the North Wind appeared outside the dishevelled door. 

Julian gasped and grabbed the bird, hiding it under his shirt. Mort closed the dance floor doors and Maurice pushed the jade foot back into the box.

“You’re under arrest!” Classified shouted as they had their weapons pointed at the Penguins. 

“On what grounds!?” Skipper put his hands on his hips. 

Eva replied, “Illegal transportation of endemic animal life.”

Corporal added, “Departing on an international flight after grounding orders.”

Shortfuse huffed, “And no doubt others.” 

Julian laughed, “Kiwi bird? There is no Kiwi bird here-ow! Its stupid sharp feets!” He retrieved the kicking bird from his shirt. “Fine! Take the bird. Take it, there is nothing else here at all whatsoever.” 

Classified gasped, “Be careful with it!” The small bird kicked gently as Julian held it from around its sides, making small noises of distress. 

Skipper adjusted his tie, “There appears to have been a massive misunderstanding,” he addressed North Wind but motioned for his boys to move out. “Your bird is fine!” Rico picked up the box without a lid and they made their way out as Skipper stood with Julain. “We’re fine. How about you just take the bird and we call it even?”

Eva shook her head, “Not happening Penguin.”

“Fair enough, good luck catching us, when you can barely get-” he grabbed the bird and pushed it across the floor, sending it running out the mansion, “your friend!” 

Corporal and Shortfuse gasped and chased after it, the bird was fast despite its small stature. 

Classified shouted, “After it! Don’t let any wild animals get it! If a coyote or wolf-” 

Julian added, “Actually we have Foosa-”

Classified turned to address him, “I will be back with a warrant for this place, you had to have been in on this.”

“Me? No, no.” Julain made a zipper motion to his lips before Classified turned.

“And you Penguin-” but Skipper was gone. The roar of the jet could then be heard as it took off down Julian’s private runway. 

When Classified and Eva came outside they saw that their own plane had been sabotaged, an entire engine block was on the ground. Shortfuse and Corporal were panting as they returned with the bird in a net. 

\---

Alex looked at the green jade under an eye glass, “Oh it's perfect.” He handed off a piece to Melman.

Skipper patted his men on the shoulder, “It took a lot to get it here.” Rico was covered in engine grease and Kowalski had a large tear across his suit. 

Private smiled with some wire and cable sticking out from his sleeves, “We really outsmarted North Wind.” 

Marty wheeled the last box in, “I heard! You stole a bird?” Gloria and Melman were placing the pieces into a necklace but laughed at the statement. 

Skipper grunted, “That stowaway was not on the itinerary.” 

Kowalski added, “The statue disappearing actually brought more attention to the issue about peace relations and the bird napping resulted in more conservation efforts.” 

Rico grunted, “Julian.”

Kowalski nodded, “Right! Julian wants to donate money to help the effort.” 

Marty adjusted his pinstripe ensemble, “That kooky king probably just wants more exotic animals.” 

Gloria added, “No doubt.” 

Skipper checked his watch, “Well boys, it's time to head home. I thought we were due for a new chopper but this jet is growing on me.”

Kowalski added, “Well technically it's Julian’s jet, he let us use it, and the base…”

Skipper beamed, “Let's head to Fiji instead!”

Rico nodded, “Relaxation.” 

Kowalski liked that idea despite himself, “Sure.” 

Skipper smoothed his hair, “It's settled then, Japan here we come.” 

-End! 1/26/21

**Author's Note:**

> 100% based off my travels to NZ, just wrote for fun and to help me remember some elements of the trip. More may come as I travel. Thank you to my editors! <3 Glad I had the time to finish this...cause no traveling rn due to the plague.


End file.
